God is not distant, and I have not wandered from Him, but we haven’t been talking much lately. I’ve been preoccupied with earthly mammon and I grind through the days from 5:30am till I flop in bed late at night too tired to even think.
This past weekend Dave took the kids on a 1-night camping trip so I had about 8 hours to myself. I’d been looking forward to this time because I kept saying: “God, I’ll connect with you again and figure myself out.”
In times past when I felt lost and cast adrift, uncertain of my purpose or who I was, it has been helpful to write out truths about myself: “I am brave. I am disciplined. I am strong. I am purposeful. I am…” on and on. Doing this exercise is helpful in so many ways, but this past weekend, as I processed my thoughts, God stopped me in the middle of my monologue. Actually, I only got to “I am brave. I am adventurous…” when God spoke. He said: “Amanda, it’s not about you or what you are. It’s not about what you have or don’t have. It’s about Me and who I am.”
I ponder this word as I walk.
A short time later as I listen through the book of Exodus, I lit up when God is telling Moses: “I AM that I AM.”
Moses had lived in the wilderness for 40 years and God asked him to return to Egypt and lead the Israelites out. An incredulous Moses did exactly what we all so often do: “Me, God? Do that? You’ve got to be kidding. You are kidding, right? I can’t do that. I’m not a leader, a public speaker, a _____” You name it. Moses said it all.
God responded “Moses, my name is I AM. Tell the people that I AM has sent you.”
Now one thing that has always irritated my grammarly mind was this incomplete sentence God used. I AM… what?
Now I understand what God is trying to get across to Moses. The same thing He’s telling me: ‘It’s not about you, who you are or even what you may or may not have. I AM _____ [you fill in the blank].’ God is whatever we lack. He is everything. It’s about Him and what He wants to do. He is our Strength, the Rock, Prince of Peace, Hope, Salvation, Redeemer, Emmanuel – God with us. God says “I AM all of this for you, in you, through you.”
Once Moses grasped this concept, he became the leader of a nation. But not just a leader, he was a friend of God’s who spoke to God face to face. Moses did what no other man on earth has ever done: he led a couple million people through the desert to establish a new home thousands of miles away.
Yet we know who actually did all of that – I AM did it. Moses knew it, some of the people knew it. We know it. Moses understood that it’s not about me, what I have or don’t have. It is about this God, the I AM who is everything I will ever need.
May we grasp this truth like Moses did. This I AM is our daddy. He is whatever we need because He is the source of all things.
Now, instead of going through my self-truth list, I say “I AM is all I need. I AM is my strength. I AM is wisdom, understanding, discernment. I AM is my hope, joy and love.”
May we all come to know this awesome I AM.