A healthy community is exactly that: a wealth of richness. Within it, we find belonging, acceptance, value, support, accountability, camaraderie. There is a comfort and an unburdening in shared experience. “Oh, I’m not the only one who ever felt that way! Hey, I experienced the same thing!”
There is a strengthening that happens when we realize someone else walked this path too, has felt the same emotions and has come through the other side a stronger person.
Healthy community is a place where burdens are halved, and joys are doubled.
All the lies we believe about ourselves boil down to one of 3 basic lies:
I am unloved.
I am unworthy.
I am helpless.
Flip the speech and we have the 3 basic questions every human being carries in his heart:
Am I loved?
Am I worthy?
Do I have what it takes to change? Can I change?
A healthy community lends answer to each of these questions. There are a few key elements you will find in every healthy community:
<> People – multiple people, diversity
<> A platform/gathering place
<> Passion/vision – a cause
<> Growth and movement – ongoing adoption is a critical component to community health and success. There is a welcoming atmosphere. Healthy community is not stagnant. It flourishes. There is forward movement; a growing, developing, improving.
<> Positive engagement
<> Responsiveness; vulnerability, honesty, trust
A community like this is not hard to find. Wherever there are people, there is potential for a healthy community. Sometimes you may need to step out and start your own community. People are drawn to passion. It’s part of our humanness; we want to be a part of something bigger than ourselves and we are attracted to vision. Everything in our known world started with someone’s vision!
If you are looking for community, look for thriving, happy individuals. Find out what their community is and either join it or imitate it.
In any healthy community, there is a culture of positive engagement. This doesn’t mean everyone is always ‘over-the-moon excited’ or bouncing around with joy. It goes deeper than all of that – as we see in the next point:
Responsiveness. Community cannot flourish unless there is a vulnerability, honesty and trust going both ways. For the first while, you might be the only one in your community group that is being transparent and vulnerable. That’s OK. Keep at it. Humans by nature imitate. Healthy community fosters responsiveness, this vulnerability. Doesn’t mean every person who joins your community will jump right in with both feet and contribute; they will either move on or eventually start contributing to the community. Understand the vital importance of this positive engagement & responsiveness. It requires every member to give as well as receive.
Don’t buy the lies or excuses of “I’m an introvert. I don’t ‘do’ people. I function best on my own. I can figure my own stuff out. I don’t need community.”
That’s a lie. It’s a cover-up for buried wounds or past trauma.
Don’t sit there. Don’t allow others to sit there. Gently and graciously continue to invite these people into your community.
We all need people. We were created to thrive in healthy communities.
Without it, we wither. We flounder and drown.
The wisest man who ever lived, once said:
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Take this to heart, practice it wherever you are and you will be amazed at the beautiful, thriving communities you find everywhere!
Wherever there are people, there is potential for a flourishing community.
Be a part of it and become that community for other people who are desperate for it!
You’ve got this, friend! Go get that healthy community! As Mahatma Gandhi states: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Remember, there are 3 basic truths we are all after:
I am loved and accepted.
I am valuable. I have worth.
I have a choice; I can change.
Alone, we can do so little.
Helen Keller
Together, we can do so much.