It is an absurdity to imagine a king ruling his empire without a board of counselors.
A president directing his country without The Cabinet.
A ball game won without a team.
Places of business operated without a group of directors or managers.
An elite athlete winning the gold without an army of trainers, therapists and nutritionists.
We don’t even entertain such ideas because the common sense within us tells us things like that never work. Countries, teams, businesses that operate solely on the effort of a single person simply don’t exist.
Why do we think we can go at life alone?
Why do we think we can live our lives well merely by our own effort?
Why do we think “I can handle this alone! It’s my problem, I’ve got to fix it.”?
We so quickly conceal personal struggles, hide them from everyone and pretend life is just fine.
Why? Why do we do this to ourselves?
Two weeks ago, there were a few days in which I became very discouraged. Parenting, finishing up the school year, getting the garden ready to plant and taking up a new role of coaching at the gym all suddenly seemed too heavy. As per habit, I feign strength, stuff everything inside and plow through the days alone. “These are my issues, I’ve got to get on top of everything, then I’ll feel better. It’ll pass in a few days…” Round the hamster wheel my mind churns, unwilling to pause long enough to sit in quietness, ask myself some hard questions and let someone else into my internal battle.
I refused to share the burden with anyone. What a waste of energy and time.
No! Just no!
Don’t do what I did. There is no joy in aloneness. Burdens are halved, joys are doubled when we invite others in. We are not meant to be alone. Many of us have been placed in the midst of community. It is community that we long for and community that answers some of these deepest needs.
We need each other.
We need people. We need friends, family, neighbors, a spouse, a co-worker with whom we can be vulnerable. We aren’t meant to walk alone!
Sometimes we are completely OK with being that burden-sharer for other people, yet find it difficult to share our own burdens in the same way. Don’t do that. It’s a lonely road. When we isolate, keep people out and muscle through alone, there is no joy in that. Community is where we thrive.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
For it they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Community is God’s idea. Don’t fight it.
Don’t waste your time figuring life out on your own like I did. Invite someone in, share the burden. It’s a lightening and enlightening experience! Don’t be selfish and just “get over it”. Nope! There is community waiting to happen with you!