Earlier in my parenting years, I was on a quest to find a formula that ensured godly offspring.
Is it in a specific routine, living in certain conditions or a particular place? Maybe our children will grow up to make good choices if we listen to the Bible every day and pray with them. Is it the marriage relationship that makes or breaks it?
What is the exact formula for raising children, ensuring their godliness?
I asked questions, I talked with other people. I thought “There’s got to be a way to do this parenting thing in such a way that our kids will have no choice but to follow God whole-heartedly!”
Some years pass and over the course of those years, I listen to others who are much wiser than I and have countless discussions with my very wise husband.
I recently conclude:
There is absolutely nothing I can do to ensure that our children grow up to be godly, God-fearing individuals. There is no formula to implement, no recipe to follow that will magically make these kids turn into respectable, responsible humans. There are no guarantees.
Romans 3:23 states in no uncertain terms: ‘For we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.’
That all, includes my children. They automatically fall short.
The Bible speaks very little on parenting. The most that is ever mentioned is found in the Old Testament:
“These are the commands, decrees and regulations of the Lord your God. You must obey them and you, your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live. If you obey his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. Listen closely and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you.
Listen! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.
You must love Him with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength. And you must commit yourself wholeheartedly to these commands.
Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
In other words, surround yourself with the decrees and commands of the Lord. Make sure to see them and read them and talk about them every single day!”
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 [transliteration, mine]
This seems to be a pretty big deal to God.
Drum roll… herein lies the key! We are to point our children to the one true Father all the days of our lives.
Every day. Again and again. Going about the daily routine, on the road, during school, in the morning, at bedtime. Constantly directing our children to the Heavenly Father.
In many ways this is a relief.
Parents are imperfect humans also on a journey of finding God the Father. Parents make mistakes. Poor choices that might even hurt their kids.
As parents, we are not responsible to become God to our children. (if so, we wouldn’t need God!)
We are only to point them to the heavenly Father who is a perfect daddy and who does not make mistakes. Who does not make poor choices or let them down. Who is faithful, unchanging and everlasting.
We are to introduce our kids to God.
Parenting is about taking the hand of my child and leading him to our heavenly Daddy.
It’s been said that the earthly father shapes the child’s view of God the heavenly Father.
Really? Maybe somewhat. Think rather that since we are an imperfect, incomplete picture of God the Father, we are to instead diligently teach our kids about their heavenly Daddy and acquaint them with Him.
As parents we are entrusted with the task of shaping souls. Of guiding. Of nurturing and instructing. We are not promised a specific end result. The only sure thing promised is: long life and things will go well with us. That’s a broad promise. There is no mention that our children will follow our footsteps or even love God.
This is an investment that we must hold loosely. We can’t become attached to the end result.
But… His word does not return void. Meaning, that His words spoken into and over our children will bring forth fruit in some way.
Parents are only to know and love their Father God intimately, then point their children to God the perfect Father.
Let your kids go. Hold them before the Father with open hands.
God is the perfect Father. And even God has lost children.