Recently one of my children made a series of objectionable choices. Absolutely abominable choices, to be frank. This happened in the night watches; the child had discovered the whereabouts of the TV cord and proceeded to binge watch while the family slept. I had awakened and upon discovering this deception, became greatly furious.
It’s the wee hours of the morning, so I send the wayward child back to bed with the promise of further communication once the sun rises.
I didn’t sleep the rest of the night. My soul was so deeply sorrowed, repulsed and disappointed. However, during those few hours prior to the sunrise, I was able to mentally distance myself from the situation and view it more objectively.
The Father taught me something about myself through this.
I find that when my child exhibits lack of control, compulsive behavior, addiction and/or poor choices, my natural response is to:
Push away
Isolate
Shame
Accuse
Detach
Blame
Feel revulsion
However, since I am filled with the Spirit of the Living God, I understand that a Spirit-filled response would be to:
Draw in
Engage
Connect
Affirm
Guide into truth
Show love through physical touch – a hug or a hand on the shoulder.
Like I stated earlier, it took a few hours for me to process and work through this. My child’s choice of binge-watching was most grievous to my soul. I pray and speak redemption into this and trust the Father – who pursues the heart of my child, to redeem it.
There is no formula to follow in discipling children. Only principles. If there were a formula, we wouldn’t need faith. It requires faith to raise children. Faith to disciple them. Faith to walk in the Spirit. Faith to respond as our heavenly Daddy responds to us. To parent as He parents.
Our heavenly Father is
…Gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love; He relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, leaving a blessing behind him?
Joel 2:13b-14a ESV
Are there consequences?
Of course. What is sown is also reaped. In spite of this fact, may we as Spirit-filled believers lay hold of faith and respond to disappointment in a Spirit-filled way. Our kids will make some unsavory choices… may we always:
Draw them in
Engage
Connect
Affirm
Guide into truth and show love.
The goal of parenting isn’t to create perfect kids. It’s to point our kids to the perfect God.
Lindsey Bell