Things We Kill in our Kids

Children are born to sing, to dance, to love life.
They are born with self-confidence and the assurance that they can take on the world.
They have an innate ability to trust in the good of humanity.
Kids are born learners and imitators.
They’re born to create, discover, explore and invent.

A quote I had taped to my kitchen cupboard for years was something Carl Sagan said:

“Every child starts out as a natural-born scientist, then we beat it out of them. Some trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm intact.”

Carl Sagan

They are born, their minds and souls beautiful and perfect.
Then we start beating stuff out of them. We kill their love of song and life by living an unthankful life.
We kill their self-confidence by telling them “You can’t do that!” “You’re lazy.”  “You are stupid.”  “What is wrong with you?”  “You’re bad.” There are dozens of lies we iterate to our kids without thinking about it. Soon they begin to believe that what we say and imply about them is true.
It kills their sense of self-worth, people. It really does. It kills their desire to change the world.

[When you do call kids out on wrong behavior, make it clear to your child that he as a person is not the problem, but his actions are a problem. The child is not bad, his actions were bad and that’s what we deal with in guiding our kids at a young age.]

We teach them not to trust in the good of humanity by not living a life of consistency and goodness before them. They see where our words don’t match up with the way we actually live. They recognize selfishness in us. They are quick to see how we love and forgive other people, or when we refuse to love and forgive.  

We suffocate the scientist within them by limiting their minds and opportunities. We complain that they ask too many questions. Or, we fail to answer their questions with sincerity.
Another quote I had on my cupboard (I love good quotes, you see):

“If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

Catherine M Wallace

Our kids start life, their minds like a sponge soaking up the world around them. Who they become as adults is largely due to how we parent them.

Let us be careful with the words we use to speak to our kids; let us be cautious in how we talk to others about our kids. May we use words that bring life, hope and blessing. May our actions and attitudes be the ones we wish them to emulate.

We are to nurture the scientist, the dancer and the creator in them. We are to guide and validate their self-confidence and worth. They are world changers! They can make this world a better place!
Let’s make sure our kids know this.